a friends advice

out of being depressed still i hangout to a place i used to hangout, that is being in front of a computer browsing through the internet searching what it has to offer just to fill the boredom and enlighten the day. then i noticed that one of my friends is online. so what i did was, i called him at home. we made some chika2x the same nonsense things we talk about like we used to in high school. this person whom i talked to is fund of going out as a matter of fact as we talk, he invites me to go out then and there eat, hangout and talk. due to being lazy i refused, imagine! being lazy caused me of not taking a bath for i guess 3 days. (uh! gross..) but as he beg me irritatingly, well, he made me say yes. i prepared for about 30mins and then right after he came, we went to one of our place's hangout eat and talk. just as he sees that i need someone to talk to, he let me open up myself and my concerns. as i did, this person listened and gave his best advice/s. to summarize all of his advices i need to bullet it below.

* that i need have this self-awareness
* after being aware, i need to make resolutions
* and to stick to my resolutions

As he shares a lot, i realize that he is right guessing that its not the problem that is the problem but the problem is just me. He thinks that i'm not the Shiela that he used to know when we were in our adolescent stage (that because a lot has happened) but he believes that i could become more of what was happening to me right now that i could do better despite of everything. that whatever the criticisms or being not supported by a love one is not a hindrance, because he said if you will let it, then it starts to bring you down and in the end it's still you who will suffer and not them (this is based on his experience) this makes me think that whatever you want in life you need to go for it whatever happens whatever are the criticisms. That whatever happens in the past is in the past and that i should not make it ruin my future as he said. these things i came up to conclude that i most blame others for what happens to me that in the first place i am responsible of my own actions. i know i'm depressed but i need to resolve this! as he said. WAKE UP! WAKE UP SHIELA! you're not just the one with all the problems in the world many are those worst than yours, don't make excuses for yourself WAKE UP! don't let fear of being judge get in the way, maybe you think of it because your somewhat a judgmental person yourself and you sometimes made stupid mistakes but that doesn't mean your a criminal.

this is mind over matter. i need to keep sane and be alive, i need to make resolutions and live.